We're The Tunnel Snakes [Orochi's Chamber - 8 Ways to Hell]
Jul 23, 2022 22:02:16 GMT -5
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Post by Ornery on Jul 23, 2022 22:02:16 GMT -5
It felt like it took fifty years, even though it hadn't, in all honesty, been even a week, but Ornery was overjoyed regardless, because all of the cats had been herded, everyone was rested (or, well, as rested as they could be, in his specific case), ready, nourished, hydrated, et cetera.
He had snacks on his desk, drinks in the mini-fridge. He was ready, and this time, nothing would veer Ornery away from his eight-headed, serpentine, evil goal.
Finally, he'd get to get this done. Finally, it was time. The feast had been finished, the sake - brewed, the party - assembled, the hotel - Trivago. His equipment was in order. He was happy enough. He was going to kick the eight-headed snake's one singular ass, today.
Man, he thought to himself, if he's got eight heads but only one ass, I can see why he's so evil in every piece of media. Eight heads' worth of eating, one ass' worth of output. If I had to take shits that size, I'd be getting drunk and ready to go off on everybody too.
Ornery hadn't needed an additional disguise to simply mix in with the crowd of NPCs and get swept along into Orochi's den with the crowd of overjoyed oni, carrying food and drink and cheering. The banquet tables were almost set, and with this last bit, the preparations were almost done. Yet nobody had started eating or drinking yet - that was only to happen once Orochi was to awaken. All eyes turned to the group as Cook loudly cleared his throat, singling out the raid participants in the crowd, but the excited chattering hadn't stopped.
"If I may---if I may----IF I MAY HAVE YOUR BLOODY ATTENTION!" Cook bellowed, at the end of his very short rope, instantly shutting everybody up. "See these? These are my most VALUED helpers, and, it turns out, they're also our guests of honor! Don't I feel embarrassed about putting them to work?" Beat. "No, I don't! Regardless, they will have the honor of awakening Lord Orochi on this most auspicious day!"
Cook took a pause, looking over the crowd of silent oni.
"CLAP, YOU MONGRELS."
With extremely forced applause behind them, Cook lead the group to the altar in the center of the chamber, a mighty altar with a mighty bell, the sort that would take a dozen monks to properly strike if it were to hang in an actual Japanese temple - the beam that hung next to the bell, conveniently, had six ropes attached to it, for pulling.
All six of them were proficient fighters with big fat stats (well, maybe not all of them, but Leyfalia had enough sheer bubbling, glistening rage inside her to make up for it and Talebrook was a healer), so they'd probably do with just the six of them. Ornery hoped so, at least.
Under Cook's expectant gaze and with a bountiful lack of instructions, he awkwardly picked up one of the lines of rope attached to the big ol' beam - honestly, it looked like a straight up tree log! - and looked to his companions.
"... Well, then. On count ten."
With that, Ornery-Tsuchinoko started pulling back on his end of the rope. Alone, he would not be able to pull the beam back enough that it'd make a decent sound. The oni around them had finally unfrozen, and the cheering noise from earlier had reappeared, growing louder and louder in volume with each raid member who took up a line of rope.
Only once the ten-count was complete, once they'd all done their part, would Ornery let go of his rope, expecting everyone else to do the same so as to let the giant wooden beam slam into the bell and wake up their adversary.
He had snacks on his desk, drinks in the mini-fridge. He was ready, and this time, nothing would veer Ornery away from his eight-headed, serpentine, evil goal.
Finally, he'd get to get this done. Finally, it was time. The feast had been finished, the sake - brewed, the party - assembled, the hotel - Trivago. His equipment was in order. He was happy enough. He was going to kick the eight-headed snake's one singular ass, today.
Man, he thought to himself, if he's got eight heads but only one ass, I can see why he's so evil in every piece of media. Eight heads' worth of eating, one ass' worth of output. If I had to take shits that size, I'd be getting drunk and ready to go off on everybody too.
Ornery hadn't needed an additional disguise to simply mix in with the crowd of NPCs and get swept along into Orochi's den with the crowd of overjoyed oni, carrying food and drink and cheering. The banquet tables were almost set, and with this last bit, the preparations were almost done. Yet nobody had started eating or drinking yet - that was only to happen once Orochi was to awaken. All eyes turned to the group as Cook loudly cleared his throat, singling out the raid participants in the crowd, but the excited chattering hadn't stopped.
"If I may---if I may----IF I MAY HAVE YOUR BLOODY ATTENTION!" Cook bellowed, at the end of his very short rope, instantly shutting everybody up. "See these? These are my most VALUED helpers, and, it turns out, they're also our guests of honor! Don't I feel embarrassed about putting them to work?" Beat. "No, I don't! Regardless, they will have the honor of awakening Lord Orochi on this most auspicious day!"
Cook took a pause, looking over the crowd of silent oni.
"CLAP, YOU MONGRELS."
With extremely forced applause behind them, Cook lead the group to the altar in the center of the chamber, a mighty altar with a mighty bell, the sort that would take a dozen monks to properly strike if it were to hang in an actual Japanese temple - the beam that hung next to the bell, conveniently, had six ropes attached to it, for pulling.
All six of them were proficient fighters with big fat stats (well, maybe not all of them, but Leyfalia had enough sheer bubbling, glistening rage inside her to make up for it and Talebrook was a healer), so they'd probably do with just the six of them. Ornery hoped so, at least.
Under Cook's expectant gaze and with a bountiful lack of instructions, he awkwardly picked up one of the lines of rope attached to the big ol' beam - honestly, it looked like a straight up tree log! - and looked to his companions.
"... Well, then. On count ten."
With that, Ornery-Tsuchinoko started pulling back on his end of the rope. Alone, he would not be able to pull the beam back enough that it'd make a decent sound. The oni around them had finally unfrozen, and the cheering noise from earlier had reappeared, growing louder and louder in volume with each raid member who took up a line of rope.
Only once the ten-count was complete, once they'd all done their part, would Ornery let go of his rope, expecting everyone else to do the same so as to let the giant wooden beam slam into the bell and wake up their adversary.
